Walking on eggshells
Constantly watching someone’s mood, tone or reactions and changing your behaviour to keep the peace.
RECOGNISING THE SIGNS
You don’t have to call it abuse to know something wasn’t right.
Not everyone who has lived through an unhealthy or controlling relationship identifies with the words domestic abuse.
You may simply know that somewhere along the way you stopped feeling like yourself.
Questioning yourself
Wondering whether you’re overreacting, remembering things correctly or somehow causing the problems.
Losing yourself
Your confidence, opinions, friendships or sense of who you are may have gradually become smaller.
Feeling responsible for everything
Apologising, fixing, explaining and carrying responsibility for another person’s emotions.
Struggling to trust again
Finding it hard to relax, trust your judgement or feel safe in relationships even after the relationship has ended.
AFTER THE RELATIONSHIP
Leaving doesn’t always mean it’s over emotionally.
People are often expected to feel relieved once a difficult relationship ends.
But afterwards you may experience anxiety, hypervigilance, guilt, confusion, grief, low confidence or find yourself repeatedly questioning what happened.
You may understand intellectually that the relationship wasn’t healthy while still struggling with its impact emotionally.
Counselling gives you somewhere to begin making sense of that.
Leaving doesn’t always mean it’s over emotionally.
AFTER THE RELATIONSHIP
Understanding what happened
Making sense of patterns such as coercive control, manipulation, emotional abuse and trauma responses.
Trusting yourself again
Reconnecting with your instincts, decisions, needs and boundaries.
Rebuilding confidence
Rediscovering the parts of yourself that became lost or quieter within the relationship.
Moving forward at your pace
Recovery isn’t about forgetting what happened. It’s about reaching a point where it no longer controls how you live now.
AFTER THE RELATIONSHIP
Leaving doesn’t always mean it’s over emotionally.
My background includes extensive experience supporting people affected by domestic abuse, coercive control and trauma.
I understand that these experiences are rarely simple. You may still love someone who hurt you. You may miss parts of the relationship. You may feel angry one day and doubt yourself the next.
You won’t be told what you should have done or how you should feel.
Together we can explore what happened, understand the impact it has had on you and begin rebuilding confidence in yourself.
You don’t need to prove that what happened was “bad enough” to deserve support.
What counselling may help with
anxiety and feeling constantly on alert
low self-esteem and loss of confidence
people-pleasing and difficulty saying no
guilt, shame and self-blame
trusting yourself and other people
AFTER THE RELATIONSHIP
understanding unhealthy relationship patterns
boundaries and recognising your own needs
reconnecting with your identity
childhood experiences that may influence relationships
rebuilding life after an abusive or controlling relationship
